I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
