Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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