??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
