My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
