at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
