why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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