let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
