But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
