I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
