All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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