the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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