i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
