Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
