awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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