I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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