genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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