ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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