Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
