Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
