You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
