I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
