i don't like sucking hair
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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