Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
