Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't deserve a penis
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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