1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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