Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
