It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
