first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
