You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
