hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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