Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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