yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
