There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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