I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
