i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
