i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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