I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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