Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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