So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
