hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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