For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
