Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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