It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
