He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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