I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
