the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
