You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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