just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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