this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I will pee on everything he values.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
