dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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