after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
